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But if it can't attack an appropriate player for some reason, it could then attack a planeswalker to at least meet its must attack requirement

Think of it as a reverse-Misty, in that you flip a coin until you get tails, with every heads you get removing one energy from your opponents active Pokmon

Typically, these promotions arrive at different times in different areas, rather than rolling out worldwide simultaneously

Memnarch Created by Karn as the sentient incarnation of the maddeningly powerful Mirari artifact, Memnarch was an artificial being of immense curiosity

If you want the ability with a body too Kuzco gives you that choice